T.V Sponsorship sequence first edit

After setting everything up it became apparent that there where a few flaws in my idea, the first was the detail in the sequence, while it should only be ten seconds long after adding in all the short shots with the story line it was just under a minuet long, this made it to long for the conventions and while it would be challenging them it also lost the audiences attention because of the length and lack of action. After reviewing my filming I came up with an easy solution, the filming was still usable however the characteristics I couldn't use anymore one because that made it to long another was keeping up with the T.V show, so to eliminate the problems that I accounted I will use the tracking shot as the main opening shot as it pans in form a wide shot into a close up and to cut time down the first jelly will portray Simon Cowell  with a voice over ending with a shot of the shows logo, my setting works because it will reminds the audience of the stages where the show is filmed. I have done a quick mock up without any sound, while there are a few problems that need sorting out it a base for me to work of off.